Mark

Let me tell you about Mark. He’s charming, romantic and has two kids.

Mark is 29 and has two kids to a woman who walked out on them. So yes, he has them full time.

This weekend just gone Mark asks me out for a drink and because I’m a skanky little hornbag who had nothing to do on a Friday night I said yes.

He told me about the kids, which I don’t have an issue with. Hey, they didn’t come out of my vagina, right?

We hit it off. Like REALLY hit it off. The kids were away the whole weekend so I stayed at his place Friday, Saturday AND Sunday night. And my god, the sex is fucking amazing.

Not only that but he cooked me dinner, gave me a massage and bought me coffee. Winner.

I saw him again last night, we drove out to an out-of-town hill that’s pretty… well… remote. There was a full moon and he played music and sang to me and the we had even more amazing sex. I’m talking lift me up onto the tray and pound the orgasms out of me kind of sex. And don’t even get me started about his tongue.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been romanced, and I think I really like this guy.

Sounds serious, right?

Nope. Neither of us are looking to get into anything serious. Which is fucking perfect. Just someone to have fun with without having to worry about keeping distant.

Will keep y’all updated x

Kyle

Let me tell you about Kyle. He’s tall, hella broad and covered in tattoos.

 

Kyle is another one that I met on Tinder. We added each other on Snapchat and exchanged a few dirty pictures before finally deciding to meet up.

 

For some reason I made the decision before arriving at his to not sleep with him on the first night.

 

Then I saw him.

 

I’m not a petite girl and he made me feel small in the best way.

 

So we fucked.

 

And I’m talking proper fucked.

 

He picked me up and placed me exactly where he wanted me. He ate out my pussy like he hadn’t eaten in three days. He took control more than any guy had ever done previously.

 

His dick was so big it hurt me, but it felt so fucking good.

 

I went over the next night and the Kylee thing happened. I get horny just thinking about it.

 

He works shift work so I’m waiting eagerly for him to have his days of so he can ravage me again.

 

Will keep y’all bitches updated if things progress.

Cameron

Let me tell you about this guy Cameron. He’s a tall, intelligent thirty year old who works in a school.

 

Cameron and I met on Tinder and he asked if I would like to meet up.

 

Fuck it, right?

 

So I did.

 

The intelligent thirty year old – who is a little older than the guys I normally go for but hey, he seemed nice – provided really good conversation for an hour and a half while we had lunch and I had a beer <– I think this may have been my first mistake, I thought he was going to have a beer too but ordered a coke after me.

 

Cameron dropped me home after what I had thought been a really nice time. As I opened the door of his car he said, “Well I guess I’ll see you around.”

 

I tried not to think like the psychotic bitch I am and figured he didn’t mean anything by such a dismissive comment.

 

So I texted him about an hour afterwards telling him I’d had a great time and thanking him for taking me out.

 

I never heard anything from him.

 

Now, I would have thought a thirty year old would be mature enough to send a message saying, “Hey, sorry but I’m not interested.”

 

Tall intelligent thirty year old Cameron was balding anyway so whatevs.

 

I saw him at a small bar about a week ago – I looked amazing btw – and he nodded towards me in acknowledgment and I was just like:

Nathan

I’m back bitches!

 

Let me tell you about Nathan. He’s a tall, lanky, new age kind of guy with the shaggy sort of hair I adore.

 

I met Nathan about eight months ago through a group of friends. About four months ago I went out with a girlfriend and ran into Nathan at a club. After a night of getting positively munted I went back to Nathan’ house.

 

Ensues a night of incredible sex. He went down on me for, like, twenty minutes. And he was freaking uh-mazing at it.

 

Nathan then invites me out to dinner a couple of days later during which we had a nice time. Then we went back to his place for more great sex.

 

We had both agreed that a relationship was not in the books, we got along great on an intellectual and sexual level but we’d both only recently gotten out of relationships and wanted to experience single life.

 

Fast forward a month of hanging out, playing video games and unbelievable sex and Nathan suddenly stops talking to me.

 

I figured, ‘Hey, that’s cool, I told him I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness if this ever ended.’

 

Well, actually, what I told him was, ‘If you get sick of this or it stops working for you, you don’t need to come up with excuses to justify it. Just tell me and I’ll be cool about it.’

 

But despite the sudden lack of communication I was cool about it anyway. I continued to hang out with him in our mutual friend group and no one knew a thing (not because we kept it a secret it was just no one’s business and I don’t like PDA – public displays of anything).

 

About a month and a half ago I started hanging out with another guy friend who I thought was interested and was discussing said guy in a group message that included Nathan. I was asking advice on how to ask a friend if they had any feelings or interest and I ended up sending a risky message that lead to myself being rejected.

 

Nathan messaged me later that night telling me he had wished I had been talking about him. This led to him apologising for not messaging me and said that it was because he was starting to have feelings towards me that weren’t genuine but were rather his brain missing his ex and using me to replace her.

 

He was in a much better place when we had this discussion and we decided to give it another go. No relationship. No commitment. No obligations.

 

That was a month and a half ago. Since then we’ve been hooking up and having a great time together. Until about a week ago.

 

He left the fucking country.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited for him, but he’s not coming back to where I live once he’s done gallivanting around the globe.

 

I cried more than I thought I would when he left, and I am going to miss him terribly.

 

I love him, not in a romantic way, but in the way that I believe him to be an amazing person. I wish people like that would stick around.

Kiss me you fool

Seriously though, KISS ME. It’s not rocket science.

Long story short, a very close friend of many years and I have hooked up once before and we’ve always had kind of a thing for each other. Recently we ended up making out. Like full on, grabbing at each other, passionate kissing.

I dreamt about this kiss for a week afterwards. It. Was. Incredible.

I have seen him many times since then and APPARENTLY we are acting like it never happened.

The thing is, I’m totally cool with nothing progressing from the kiss, but why not acknowledge it.

But why are we holding back? I’m not saying, “Hey, let’s jump into a relationship!” Because neither of us want that. At all.

But we are the kind of friends that don’t let that sort of thing ruin a good friendship. See earlier comment that we have hooked up previously. It doesn’t get awkward between us. It doesn’t get COMPLICATED.

So if we’re both attracted to each other, we both want each other in some way and there’s no reason not to, WHY ARE WE NOT KISSING.

Plus dude, it’s winter and I need a snuggle buddy.

Disappointment

Let me tell you a little story that may or may not be definitely true.

Guy comes over for casual hook up.

After about five minutes of what feels great sex to girl (with little expression from him) he goes limp.

After girl makes effort, guy gives up.

Guy thEN LEAVES BECAUSE HE NEEDS AND EARLY NIGHT.

Now, gentlemen, we girls understand that sometimes the body doesn’t do what we want it to (I’m due for my period in a couple of days, I get it).

But.

When you stop altogether and then leave, it leaves US feeling a little undesirable.

And this pisses me off so fucking much that I can be affected this way by a guy I have very few romantic feelings for. I find myself asking, why do I care so much about someone I don’t really care about?

You see, it’s not about him. It’s about me.

When a guy (or girl) doesn’t try their best in the bedroom it can really make us feel like we aren’t worth the effort.

It’s humiliating.

And you know what? Maybe that’s the truth. Maybe I’m not worth that extra effort to avoid disappointment. But I can find someone else who doesn’t make me feel that way.

And I will.

I’m not a morning person

Every morning feels like a fucking Monday to me.

Fidget Spinners

Who needs fidget spinners when you have tits?

Fuck you and your little games.

I won’t play.
I’ve never been too worried about people not responding often (see previous post).

But being outright ignored?

Nuh uh.

I don’t think so.

And I’m not talking about someone who has expressed disinterest. This is someone who when I see them in person they flirt. Heavily.

This is someone who told me they wanted something out of this – albeit not a relationship (which is perfect for me).

This is also someone who likes to think they’re all that. Someone who thinks I at least find him irresistible. I know, I laughed too.

But after several opportunities given, after several invites, nothing.

So obviously not that interested. Which is totally fine! It’s ok to not be interested.

Just don’t get pissy if I don’t flirt back next time I see you, ok?

Replying Quickly Does Not Mean I Am Infatuated

I REPEAT

Responding quickly does not mean I am waiting around for your answer.

I’m talking to a guy on SnapChat and he was flirtatiously teasing me how I can never remember what my previous message was.

I told him that I’m doing other things and that I’m not just sitting there waiting for him to respond.

According to him it felt like I was because I always respond quickly.

Now I’m not the kind of girl to calculate how long to wait before replying based on how long it took him to respond. I tend to have my phone out (when it’s not being rude) so when I get the notification I respond.

I don’t sit there analysing the conversation so when the messages disappear I don’t have a prompt to remind me what the fuck we were talking about.

If it makes him feel better to think I’m THAT into him then fine. But I’m gonna be real about it.