Nathan

I’m back bitches!

 

Let me tell you about Nathan. He’s a tall, lanky, new age kind of guy with the shaggy sort of hair I adore.

 

I met Nathan about eight months ago through a group of friends. About four months ago I went out with a girlfriend and ran into Nathan at a club. After a night of getting positively munted I went back to Nathan’ house.

 

Ensues a night of incredible sex. He went down on me for, like, twenty minutes. And he was freaking uh-mazing at it.

 

Nathan then invites me out to dinner a couple of days later during which we had a nice time. Then we went back to his place for more great sex.

 

We had both agreed that a relationship was not in the books, we got along great on an intellectual and sexual level but we’d both only recently gotten out of relationships and wanted to experience single life.

 

Fast forward a month of hanging out, playing video games and unbelievable sex and Nathan suddenly stops talking to me.

 

I figured, ‘Hey, that’s cool, I told him I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness if this ever ended.’

 

Well, actually, what I told him was, ‘If you get sick of this or it stops working for you, you don’t need to come up with excuses to justify it. Just tell me and I’ll be cool about it.’

 

But despite the sudden lack of communication I was cool about it anyway. I continued to hang out with him in our mutual friend group and no one knew a thing (not because we kept it a secret it was just no one’s business and I don’t like PDA – public displays of anything).

 

About a month and a half ago I started hanging out with another guy friend who I thought was interested and was discussing said guy in a group message that included Nathan. I was asking advice on how to ask a friend if they had any feelings or interest and I ended up sending a risky message that lead to myself being rejected.

 

Nathan messaged me later that night telling me he had wished I had been talking about him. This led to him apologising for not messaging me and said that it was because he was starting to have feelings towards me that weren’t genuine but were rather his brain missing his ex and using me to replace her.

 

He was in a much better place when we had this discussion and we decided to give it another go. No relationship. No commitment. No obligations.

 

That was a month and a half ago. Since then we’ve been hooking up and having a great time together. Until about a week ago.

 

He left the fucking country.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited for him, but he’s not coming back to where I live once he’s done gallivanting around the globe.

 

I cried more than I thought I would when he left, and I am going to miss him terribly.

 

I love him, not in a romantic way, but in the way that I believe him to be an amazing person. I wish people like that would stick around.